yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
hotel room ftw
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
