8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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