Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
