Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize