How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
