this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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