sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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