i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm both gender and math confused
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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