its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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