Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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