I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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