shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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