oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize