I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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