Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
