he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
