My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
