hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She bit a glass in half.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
