new low.... made out with someone while peeing
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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