if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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