She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
