So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Do vagina's smell?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
