if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
