just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
