I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
