dude i'm inner monologue high
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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