She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
