It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
