Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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