That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
