Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I want you more than these girls want KFC
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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