do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
