get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
two words...techno handjob
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
