forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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