Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
