she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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