So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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