So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
