i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
