Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize