I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
