You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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