all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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