So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
