Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
