I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
