Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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