Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
