OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
