We won't sleep together?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
