Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
