I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
two words...techno handjob
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
