doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
