I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
