It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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