is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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