Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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