Tell her she can't have a vagina
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
