Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
