It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
