Have you finally orgasmed yet?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
