no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
