i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
