are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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