I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
